Posts Tagged ‘God’

Remember facing a laptop eagerly waiting
decisions from authority,
brains are worth a lot these days,
price tags on the best.

Hands sifting through a sea of sand,
searching for the smoothest,
has sand ever been considered smooth
diamonds came as rugged souls.

I feel the hollow cheeks to my chin
wanting what others want
like constant battle against those people
you never saw but always heard.

Never knew I had to be told–
confirmed, approved, chosen–
Specialness a thing of words
not by my mouth but theirs.

Time ticks patience lower
anxiety attacks high,
open the inbox and pray to God
I am one of them.

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You give me too much credit–
“Hoard of dazzling scraps”
You flatter me too much,
Words are words     let be
Dash here–     Space there
Their meanings clear
yet you dress them    up
I am not

My visions are woven words,
the heart must feel   if it should know
What message for the soul–

I am a poet      not a scholar
What you see in my works
Though flattered by a brain
I never knew I had

Asks too much
Receives too little
Read! for pleasure or for pain,
Dash here–    Space there

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To those of academic standing:
Teachers, advisors, and peers,
Forgive, for my lack of years
Hinder what I should impose.
Obedience is virtuous, but not
When a voice is called.
Gentility is favored by in-laws,
Yet not when a voice is called.
Analytic skills are demanded, but
How to analyze what is meant to be felt?
Reasoning necessary, yet on the contrary,
Reason what cannot be felt.

To a pastor I knew and his lovely wife too,
To all who love God, Gods, or the Pope,
Forgive, for my experiences wrought
A certain doubt I cannot shake.
Not to say I do not believe the beliefs,
Who can deny the power Faith partakes.
Not to say there is no division of spheres,
Something mysterious lingers in the air.
Only I have, with six senses, fallen with doubt,
Heard the sins and seen the foul befall
Upon the innocents lost to cycles of wrongs,
Till live and die they with holy scars.

To myself and the many versions I make,
Such self-reflection is for the mild and weak,
Who among the strong sits alone at night
Recalling events, pleasurable or not.
Pages after pages, no more beautiful than now,
Tears after tears, no problems solve themselves,
Identity necessity, but who the right or wrong,
From one to another I daily dance along.
What dreams, what success, if a little “I” is lost,
They are not me and I never them, yet
Mirrors we all till the very last grain.

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