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Unguided Destiny 179

walk graphic

Am I not bound by a rope
Tied up with a string?
Or pulled down by an anchor
Ripples of Destiny.

How am I to know the fruitless
From bountiful seeds?
Simply dry or drained of water
From arid desert soil?

Arrows have neglected me
I only have two feet,
If swayed by the wrong current
I drown a worthless being.

Freedom isn’t a free path
Costs at every corner,
Penny dropped here and there
The end begins again.

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Summer School 178

Summer Temptation
Whisking students from their tasks
Till exams arrive

Nothing is ever enough.

Fast or slow the nerves keep digging
Up and down the hills start biting.
Surprised I don’t have white hair growing
With all the thinking I should be aging.

What happened to that faraway future,
Brightly shining as a beacon of hope?
It arrived and then the past looked better,
And in our beds we start to mope.

At first we thought of ourselves as smart,
Heck! Maybe even smarter than everyone else!
Now back at the bottom trying to start,
It seems again we’ve lost our stealth.

Who knew there could be too many roads,
If only previews were provided as well,
Who knew we needed our choices narrowed
Perhaps then we’d have a chance to win the Nobel.

Now dating, that’s a funny conception,
Find me a human and I might give a damn,
Right now I only see animals in action,
Anything else and it might be a scam.

Some say dogs or diamonds are one’s best friends,
I say Ramen and the pizza man,
Or is it the cookies? I guess it depends,
Either way our stomachs have started to span.

Remember when mommy said, “make your bed?”
You wondered why since it’ll get messed up again,
Now you’re away and something smells like its dead,
Must be those crumbs or those mysterious stains.

Though your few crappy jobs are at minimum wage,
Somehow you scrape up enough credit to waste
To meet a celebrity all the way backstage,
Now is the time parents are even more embraced.

They call you a Freshman when you’re really much older
Your insides start boiling, you’re not treated fairly,
Compared to High school, you say you’re much smarter,
Maybe that’s true when you’re not high or tipsy.

And you wonder why insurance is so high,
When they find bottles of booze by your thigh,
It’s not mine! I swear! You cry,
While texting and applying mascara to eyes.

This is the time for personality to shine!
What better than a tattoo to show what’s inside.
Even better, my right hand will do just fine,
Let future interviewers experience my pride.

Then there are days when the mirror looks wrong,
You can’t be that ugly! You just can’t be!
When did those bags come along?
Pimples and acne, why do I look so chubby?

You’re obsessed with the bestseller Facebook,
You follow tweety-bird on Twitter,
Now there’s tumblr to attempt your own book,
And your sweetheart sent you virtual flowers.

All in all the 20s are wicked and twisted,
There’s not enough psychologists to go around,
Anxious, stubborn, we all think we’re jaded
When we find ourselves pushed into the background.

Sit down face to face
Speak up eye to eye,
Two apples paired together,
A bewitching pair implied

Both classically trained
In music and art,
Witty and kind,
The matchmaker beams.

Tick tock tick tock
Seamless joy it seems
Till the second glance
Many hidden seams

One apple splits
and to its surprise
Finds itself round,
An orange in disguise.

Toxic Love 175

Like eating chocolate cake in a Vera Wang dress,
The nerves might fade away,
But the stomach flab won’t forgive.
Creamy heaven and promises at first
Turn twisted into guilt and pain,
Self-loathing ensues,
Temptation survives,
Back and forth the toxic current flows
From one heart to another
Till one dies and the other–
Goes on laughing half-heartedly

Growing Up 174

The process is the hardest.

From one point to another
A lifetime each,
Filled with laughter and tears–
Nostalgic memories that cling
To every similar scent.

Hands grip tightly to an old reality
Like a caterpillar refusing to turn,
Fear of the future—
Understandable—
But what if one day you find yourself
Gone, poof!
Trapped in world in which you know is false,
Do you fear to disappear?
Do you fear the grasps of time
that threaten to distort your sense of youth,
bury you in paperwork and
listless, empty routines?

Disposition 173

I.
Taught by white flesh—white mind
Small town girl,
Slanted eyes she did not see.
Vision of sameness—same souls
Same father,
Till the time zone changed
And all she knew about herself
flew out the window,
yellow skin, slanted eyes
“You different from us,
We not the same.”

II.
There are two identities:
One you own—
and one you serve.
The first lives in the soul,
always restless and wandering
like a pendulum,
swings from side to side.
The latter is constant,
Sustained through the eyes of others,
You may be a swan now
but always a duckling to them,
helpless, feeble,
Same from birth to death.

To own the one you serve
In a world fueled by many faces
and two-sided hearts,
Weariness sets in fast–
How many times—how many ways
Will you claim the master’s seat?
Yet, to others, you remain,
a servant forevermore.